Drink Water

"I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." -- W.C. Fields

Bob Hope on Aging

"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon; Then it's time for my nap." -- Bob Hope

Mark Twain on Millionaires

"I am opposed to millionaires... but it would be dangerous to offer me the position." -- Mark Twain

A More Pleasant Form of Misery

"Money can't buy you happiness... but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery." -- Spike Milligan

How to Develop the Best in Someone

"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.

"There is nothing else that so kils the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise." -- Charles Schwab

Do This And Take The Whole World With You

"Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire... and the best peice of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way." -- Harry A. Overstreet

Secret of Success

"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." -- Henry Ford

Be Like Santa - maybe

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year." -- Victor Borge

Get To The Point

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible." -- George Burns

Time Perception

"How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." -- spotted outside the restrooms at the local Tumbleweed restaurant