Groucho Marx on Marriage

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury." -- Groucho Marx

Socrates on Marriage

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get
a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." -- Socrates

Mae West on Marriage

"Marriage is a great institution; but I'm not ready for an institution." -- Mae West

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Some Kind of Marriage

"He sparred with me every once in a while. I hit him a couple of times and he couldn't believe it. He was, "Where'd that come from?' I was like, "Yeah, watch it. There's more where that came from.'" -- Hillary Swank, who used husband Chad Lowe as a part-time sparring partner while learning to box for "Million Dollar Baby," quoted in the Boston Herald, found via Reuters Notable Quotes

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"Hope all is well, kiss the plaintiff and the wifey." -- Ludacris raps on his new album to Bill O'Reilly, the Fox News anchor who cost Ludacris a lucrative endorsement deal two years ago by denouncing his lyrics as 'garbage.' found on Reuters Notable Quotes

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"Bill Clinton had visions of death during his open heart surgery. Then the nurse asked Hillary to leave the room." -- Bob Zany, comedian

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"I've been married so long I don't even look both ways when I cross the street anymore." -- Mike Armstrong, comedian and former police officer

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"Work though we must, our jobs do not automatically determine our priorities concerning our marriages, our children, our social life, or even our health. … we’re still responsible for making [life] something we enjoy or endure." — Melinda M. Marshall

Britney Spears's Marriage

"A singer marries a young man for a few hours and everyone thinks it's cute. It's not cute at all." -- Edward Cardinal Egan, head of the Roman Catholic Church in New York City, apparently referring to Britney Spears, in a World Marriage Day address, quoted in the New York Daily News.

[via Reuters Notable Quotes]

"You have to believe in total equality. People should be able to be what they want to be and do what they want as long as they're not harming people." -- Clint Eastwood, on same-sex marriages, in US Weekly, via Yahoo! News - Notable Quotes

"Marriage should always combat the monster that devours everything: habit." -- Honoré de Balzac

"LOVE - A temporary insanity curable by marriage." -- Ambrose Bierce, via email from Carla

"Marriage should always combat the monster that devours everything: habit." -- Honore de Balzac

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is: infinite.
For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern." -- William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

Divorce | "Divorce is what happens when the marriage you thought was a merger turns out to be a conglomerate." -- "Hot Line"

“You know what is good about these Dixie Chicks burnings or bashings? It's a wonderful, wonderful way for really stupid people to hook up. They meet, they throw some things on the fire, they talk about Vin Diesel, they tell stories about who their favorite Fox anchor is, they exchange phone numbers and in some cases has led to marriages.” -- Janeane Garofalo, via Hollywood Idiots -- Exposing Celebrity Idiots and Anti-Americans

She is also the 7 of Hearts in NewsMax.com's Deck of Weasels

"We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations -- we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together." -- Rodney Dangerfield

"It was a mixed marriage. I'm human, he was Klingon." -- Carol Liefer

"Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." -- Proverbs 21:9